Tag Archives: romance

Marketing love

marketing loveA friend recently called me and asked me the dreaded question, how to wade back into the dating waters. He had been married for about 7 years, maybe more, maybe less, I don’t keep track of things like that.

I told him I would get back to him, because I am often torn between being completely honest and trying to be nice. See, he is a swell guy, a good person, who has a good job, a decent house and seems like his addictions are almost all legal substances, coffee, wine with a meal and the occasional beer.

In my mind, I could answer his question by just saying, you know, get out there, do the dance, the basics that we all have been doing since caveman days. Go to bars, go to clubs, go to baseball games, libraries, take a class. Meet someone in the natural food section of his local supermarket. Simple really, but then if that was the case, he would probably not be asking me for advice.

So I called him back, and said the following, “loose 25 pounds and stop complaining.”

I think he hung up, but later, in an email he claimed it was a dropped call.

People respond differently when I throw a round of honesty at them. My take on his dilemma and many others is this, dating is a competitive process and if you want to meet someone great, you have to shine your greatness up before taking it out for a spin.

See, my friend really is a nice guy, a great catch. But over the course of his long term relationship, he spent more time having swell dinners and a lot less time working out, riding a bike, walking around the park and generally wondering if his weight gain could be hazardous to his health.

I know, I know, it’s so shallow the judge a book by its cover. Then again, I am often in airports and looking for something to read, I almost always judge the books by their covers. The same is true in the dating world. If you really want to attract a beautiful bird, you might want to make sure you have the elements that attract a birds attention. It is so hard to amplify your personality, show off your amazing intellect or somehow show people that you are great in bed, all the while walking down the street, grabbing a beer at a bar, I could go on.

When I was able to reconnect with my friend with DCS – drop call syndrome, I told him what I am telling you. It is a fun filled world out there, but so many of us, and yes, I do include my shallow self in this assessment, rely on physical attraction long before we wonder about things like “I wonder if this person speaks my language” or “does this person have a job?”

I explained that while I believed he was a good friend and that I thought anyone who dated him would certainly agree, getting someone to date him would take work.

I know it is shallow, but on many levels, we end up marketing ourselves in the dating world much like companies market new products. It is not enough to just build a better mousetrap, companies have to find creative ways to explain why you need a better mousetrap. In dating land we dress better, clean our homes, shower and clean up. My advice to my friend was, think of dating as you would any sort of first time meeting, say, a job interview. You have one time to set the table, to impress and also show that beneath the clothes and hair and clean shaved skin, there is a real person who experiences joy and heartbreak, who loves and feels emotions, who can converse on a wide range of subjects with intelligence and humor, but before you can get to your depth, you have to get past the shallow part, the animalistic attraction.

Matt Bertles is an Award winning Journalist, filmmaker and guest blogger for SHI Symbol today. You can find out more at www.mergatroidfilms.com

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Set the Mood for that Special Someone

Strawberry seduction

A gourmet meal.  Candlelight.  Barry White singing in the background.  Whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been together for years, it never hurts to add a little romance into the mix.  So if you’re planning a special date or celebrating an anniversary, birthday, or other holiday, you need to figure out how to set the mood for your partner.  But you don’t want to be a one-trick pony or rely on the tired fallbacks that have been used in so many rom-coms, so bring your romantic evening into the 21st century with a modern twist on the classic recipe for setting the mood (by hitting all the senses).Set the mood - aphrodisiacs-oysters

  1. Taste.  Prepare a number of interesting and enticing foods to get your partner in the mood for love (try to include a few known aphrodisiacs like oysters, champagne, chocolate, or strawberries).  Just make sure they don’t have any food allergies beforehand…nothing kills the mood faster than a sudden case of hives.  Then heighten the sensation by blindfolding your partner and feeding them by hand (think 9 ½ Weeks, but without the milk).
  2. Sight.  Candles are classic, but they’re also a fire hazard.  Instead, buy a couple of dim bulbs in a rosy hue, which will make any skin tone more attractive.  Or go space age with a chromotherapy lighting system that will filter through a range of colors meant to balance the chakras and calm the soul (stick to orange to stimulate emotions and sexuality, green to target love, and blue to fuel physical and spiritual communication).
  3. Sound.  Forget the standards your parents favored (Sinatra, Kenny G) and go for something unique that your partner will love.  If you want to keep things on the DL, you can’t go wrong with a little Jack Johnson (Sleep Through the Static is particularly mellow), but if you decide to change it up, try a little Brazilian bossa nova for some south-of-the-border spice (look for Nara Leão on iTunes or Amazon).
  4. AromatherapySmell.  A great way to revamp the classic sponge-bath is with the introduction of aromatherapy.  So add a little essential oil to the tub to heighten your partner’s senses and leave their skin silky smooth.  Just check on what different scents will do for you.  You might try soothing rose, stress-relieving lavender, or relaxing jasmine (also said to be an aphrodisiac).
  5. Touch.  You can’t go wrong with massage (which everyone loves), but if you want to try something different, take a class in acupressure or Reiki (the ancient art of using hand positioning to heal and balance the chakras) to make your partner’s body tingle.  I don’t recommend acupuncture as it requires years of training to master and most people are afraid of needles.

It’s not hard to make your partner’s night if you put a little time and effort into the preparations.  And the best way to get them in the mood is to stimulate all five senses throughout the evening.  By paying attention to what they like and going out of your way to plan an evening of passion, you can bring their romantic fantasies to life and hopefully, convince them to return the favor.

Kyle Mentz is a communications coordinator for Alluminare where you can find a large assortment of home lighting options.

To Eat or Not To Eat: Should You Go Gourmet for the First Date?

A first date can be nerve-wracking for even the most confident of guys.  You want to impress her, but you don’t want to go over the top or appear too desperate or cocky.  And while you can plan an extravagant, event-filled evening, you certainly don’t want to put too much pressure on an already stressful situation.  This is why most first dates involve the getting-to-know-you standard of dining out, which allows for conversation (unlike a noisy bar or club) mixed with a functional distraction (focus on the food until you think of something witty to say).  So the question then becomes: do you cough up the dough for a gourmet meal, or go for cheaper fare?

Filet_Mignon

Filet_Mignon

There are many reasons why going gourmet is the proper choice.  First off, the majority of women like to be wined and dined.  My husband took me to El Pollo Loco on our first date and left me wondering if I was loco for going along with it (although he maintains, to this day, that it wasn’t a “date”).  I let him make it up to me, but you might not be so lucky.  In addition, most women won’t admit it, but we’re on the lookout for a guy who can provide for us.  Hey, don’t hate!  It’s our biological imperative to find a man who will stick around and take care of the family he creates.  Plus, we don’t spend two hours on our hair and makeup and try on everything in our closet just so we can scarf down some chicken McNuggets and biggie fries.  We work hard to impress you and you should return the favor!  Just keep in mind that a hefty price tag doesn’t necessarily equate to a suitable meal.  Lobster and crab may be expensive, but you certainly won’t win any points by selecting an eatery that requires her to wear a plastic bib and wield a hammer.  Finally, there is a reason men court the opposite sex.  You know what it is.  And while you might not get it anyway, substandard eats will pretty much guarantee you don’t get a second date, a goodnight kiss, or any other recompense (except maybe indigestion).

That said, there are certain situations in which taking it down a notch is warranted.  The best reason is if you simply don’t have the money.  If you thought taking her to a cheap restaurant was a mood-killer, just imaging what will happen if your card gets denied and she ends up paying for an expensive meal.  If looks could kill, you’d be fricasseed boy-bits.  You can also go a bit more casual if you tell her ahead of time.  A jeans-and-t-shirt affair like dinner and a movie doesn’t require a four-star restaurant, and in fact, she might be uncomfortable if she feels under-dressed.  But at least spring for sit-down dining (shoot for a step above low-cost chains like Denny’s at the minimum).  If you’re worried about harsh judgment for your choice of cuisine, just let her pick the place (but be prepared to pay if you hand over the reins).

lobster-meal

lobster-meal

A first date can be an amazing, revelatory experience or it can seem like an eternity in Dante’s inferno.  But you can try to start things off on the right foot by taking her out for a nice meal at a classy joint.  At the very least, you will show your character and sophistication (you’ll be even more impressive if you can choose a fine wine, but don’t get too snobby with long-winded descriptions).  From there you just have to let the evening play out and see if your personalities mesh, but there’s no doubt she’ll be more inclined to accept a second date if she doesn’t have to wash her mouth out with soap after the meal.

Jamie Palovoy is a content writer for Gourmet Food where you don’t have to be rich to enjoy a gourmet meal.

Couples Massage: How Soon is Too Soon?

You’ve only been dating for a few days, weeks, or months (insert time-frame) but everything seems to be clicking.  You don’t want to jump the gun, but you’re beginning to think this person is THE ONE.  And so you’ve decided that it’s time to take it to the next level and organize a special treat for the two of you, something intimate, relaxing, romantic, and off the beaten path: a couples massage.  You love a good massage and you know they will, too.  So why not do it together?  It sounds like a good idea, but you’ve begun to second-guess yourself.  What if your partner thinks you’re moving too fast or that you’re some kind of creepy weirdo?  How can you tell if it’s too soon to do couples massage?

Couples Massages in a tropical wonderful

Couples Massages in a tropical wonderful

For starters, do you classify yourselves as a couple?  If not, it may be too soon.  If you’re not exclusively dating someone, if it’s just “casual”, or if you don’t even know their last name, chances are a couples massage is a bit of a stretch (as is the term “couple”).  You may want to hold off for a bit if you don’t want to get slapped with a restraining order for stalking.  If, however, your relationship has moved to next level (you’ve become intimate, met each other’s parents, keep toothbrushes at each other’s apartments, and have commenced to ignore/blow off your friends), you can probably assume that it’s safe to surprise your significant other with an afternoon of spoiling for two.Couples Massage

But if you’re still not sure, maybe you should ruminate on what, exactly, a couples massage entails.  In case you didn’t know, you’ll pretty much be naked (albeit under a sheet or towel).  You will also be on tables right next to each other, close enough to hold hands or gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes…as you are touched by two total strangers.  Uh-huh.  If the vibe sounds a little creepy, chances are it is.  It’s hard enough playing the get-to-know-you game without watching some Fabio wannabe touch your lady, or wondering what that cute little Asian girl with hands of steel is doing to your boyfriend while you’re face-down on the mat.  If you’re not quite comfortable watching your partner interact intimately with another person, you might want to plan something a bit more private, like the two of you massaging each other (it might be more fun to get a manual and do a little pillow-time at home anyway).

Couples MassageThe truth is, even people who have been together for years may find couples massage a little awkward.  After all, the idea is to relax and that may not be possible with another person in the room.  On the other hand, some people are totally cool with letting it all hang out, even if they just met you at a Poison concert the previous night.  So before you plan a couples massage, you should have a good idea of how your partner feels about it, whether you come right out and ask, or gauge their interest in another way.  After all, you don’t want to arrive at the massage parlor only to find that you’ll be alone in a room with two tables and masseurs while your partner reads a magazine in the lobby for an hour.

Dana Rivas enjoys writing about the benefits of massage for her website Portable Massage Tables.

I’m Human First – What’s Hot – That’s So Gay Live and SHI Symbol

SHI Symbol Interview by Founder Jan Pagonis for That’s So Gay Live – I’m Human First

Nicole Peters our roving reporter in Australia reports on ‘What’s Hot’ in Australia.

This Video interview with Jan Pagonis, owner of SHISymbol International shows you just how fashion savvy the Aussies are and how Singles there are leading the world in how you can meet your match easily. whatever your sexual preference.

This report was compiled for US based http://www.thatssogaylive.com that is a resource and news site that streams video from different segments like, gay news, gay travel, romance and hot topics. All with a friendly gay twist.

That’s So Gay Live Interview – ‘What’s Hot’ in Australia…

  

 

SHI Symbol Interview by Founder Jan Pagonis for That's So Gay Live - I'm Human First

SHI Symbol Interview by Founder Jan Pagonis for That's So Gay Live - I'm Human First

 Nicole Peters our roving reporter in Australia reports on ‘What’s Hot’ in Australia.

This Video interview with Jan Pagonis, owner of SHI Symbol International shows you just how fashion savvy the Aussies are and how Singles there are leading the world in how you can meet your match easily. whatever your sexual preference.

This report was compiled for US based  www.thatssogaylive.com that is a resource and news site that streams video from different segments like, gay news,  gay travel, romance and hot topics. All with a friendly gay twist.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE PICTURE ABOVE AND YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ABLE TO VIEW THIS SHORT YOUTUBE VIDEO CLIP

 

News for Singles – SHI Symbol Emag for May out now

Here’s your must have Emag if you’re a Single somewhere in the world. Great info and loads of competitions and special offers. What more could you want! In fact once you’ve read it, we’d love your feedback and if there’s something in particular you’d like to see featured we’ll see what we can do. – but you have to let us know!!!

Simply click on the SHI Symbol Emag front cover below or click here and you will be taken to the Emag straight away.

SHI Symbol International Emag - May 2010 edition
SHI Symbol International Emag – May 2010 edition

 

 

And please don’t forget to tell all your Facebook and Twitter friends about this Emag. It’s free to subscribe to, simply click www.shisymbol.com/joinemag and you’ll receive it in your inbox.

Too easy.