Is it Different Finding Love over 45?

There has been an enormous change in society ‘norms’. One of the most striking changes has been seeing what used to be standard practice is now no longer. A girl would finish school, be dating, have a boyfriend or two, decide on ‘the one’ and get married all by the age of 21 and by 22 have her first child.

Now women are opting for completing their High School and going on to further education to forge out their own career – not necessarily in the relationship arena simultaneously! This has meant fewer women have been intent on marrying young and having children young. If you look at Sex and the City and its devotees, so many women (and some men) could relate to the difficulties faced with trying to date and find meaningful relationships from around 30 years of age. In fact there has been a huge increase in the number of women having their first child after the age of 35. If you research many a private hospital with maternity wings, you’ll see the far greater numbers of women aged 30 years and over. There could be a number of contributing factors including the technological advances in IVF treatment that has allowed more couples to try and conceive their child after the magic 35 years of age which, by maternal medical definition, one is often thought of as over the hill, due to the rapid decline of the woman’s eggs! Tick, tock, tick, tock….. Girls, if you are reading this, leave your computer and get out there and start meeting someone. Blow the career for now. Famiy and children are far more important to you in the long run!

But, I digress, enough of all that – so we now know there are many more men and women not going down the married path for many years. Is it because they just haven’t found that true love? Is it because they haven’t been ‘looking’ for their true love? Or is it because they no longer know how to find their true love because this means meeting people, dating, meeting people, dating, meeting more people, dating etc etc.

The bottom line is they are still out there in the big world of dating, looking for ways of finding their true love. Perhaps it is the case that some of them may have thought, this is all too hard, it will just happen when it’s meant to. Others will have thought, boy, dating has certainly changed ‘since my day’. How do I go out and meet people now?  

A recent USA Today article quoted Richard Elliott,54, a software engineer from Bedford, Texas, who said he had always wanted to be married, but “it just never happened.”

“I thought I’d buy a house and pool and work on an immaculate lawn, and I thought somebody would just show up. You get all these things and it makes you more attractive, but it doesn’t work that way. You have to get out there and be more proactive,” he says. I couldn’t have said it better myself Richard!

In his 40s, he says, he sold the house and bought a sailboat, which led him to meet people.

How many times have you spoken to your single girlfriend who says she has always wanted to be married, but it just wasn’t right with the men she’d been with. It always seems to go back to that gambling analogy of ‘it’s just a numbers game’. Basically, the more people you meet the more chance you have of finding your love – whatever your age.

Today we are blessed with all manner of avenues for seeking out our true love. Since the mid-1990s Online Dating has blazed a path to many a singles door. It certainly is now accepted practice for looking at new possible dates and seeking out a prospective partner.

 Other avenues include the Dinner for Six concept and of course the SHI Symbol International Symbol for Singles, which, as you know is your key to meeting people – worldwide.

So, in response to the query is it different finding love over 45, there is a groundswell of opinion that indicates one would have to say yes, because the ways in which we actively seek out dates have changed significantly from say 20 years ago. People need to be comfortable with

a) the computer

b) the internet

c) online dating

d) meeting total strangers via Singles dinners and the like

e) speed dating

f) computer matching via introduction agencies

and the list continues….

And yet… it need not be any different really. Why? because if we all just took the time to stop and smell the roses, stop and meet a few more people in our every day lives, found the time to take a walk around the park, or to the local shops, or went out dancing and not necessarily at a pub or club – you know go to a place you could really talk to someone – instead of us hurrying around day in day out, jumping in and out of our car from one thing to the next – we might just have the opportunity to AND notice a few more likely prospects, or at the very least simply talk to more people and widen our circle of friends and acquaintances without much more effort.

So is this blog about finding love over 45 or is it really about stopping and enjoying life and seeing what comes out of it – as the old saying goes, when you least expect it, something happens for you. And it will happen to you whether you are 25, 35, 45, 55, 65 and even 75!

There’s no need to wait till you’re 45 to test this theory. Start meeting more people today. And I mean, really engaging with them.

Life is yours for living and loving now.

Get out there and live everyone!